So I woke up today feelin somewhat...different.

It must be the psychological aspect of it all.

Now penning the last entry of 2008, i can still remember the last few days i spent in 2007 and maybe 2006 or even 05. I was feelin the exact same feelin I'm currently experiencing right now. A little bitter that I've to be yet another year older. What, you were thinkin of nostalgia? lol.

So I've successfully trudged into adulthood. Kind of a big deal. Or maybe not. Maybe I'm just nonchalant. You see, it sounds like an oxymoron to what i just mentioned, about feelin bitter. But dont you think it's all about the numbers adding up to a bigger and less pleasing to the eye age that I've to witness, and henceforth compel myself that "it's time" to undertake responsibilities now that I've come of age? Whoever said we cant take responsibilities when we are younger, like maybe 18? Or push it further to say 26?

Yes, I'm kidding myself. Party like never before and to "enrich" our childhood and teenage years seem like the best bet, just so we are conditioned to believe that our diminished opportunities to act young are depreciating further over the years. I say, to the hell with that. And plus, a wink.

I suppose i kind of have an advantage to be able to feel like this. Tryin to be carefree and yet a little tied down to learn to step up to life, perhaps enhanced by my petite frame. People still check my IC every now and then, to get drinks, to go into clubs, to an NC16 movie. I kinda like the cover that seems like a blessing in disguise somehow. I like how it blinds my reality in my underage indulgence. It almost seems like I've the license to kill, in 007 fashion of course, my biding time to age along with my peers. The mentality of it all.

Bottomline is, i dont wanna grow up. At least not so fast. And i dont think i ever will be, in one way or another. I wanna be able to squeeze every ounce of freedom and youth there is for the age, before moving on to the next number. Now i know what i want for my life resolution. Not just 2009. But the year after and years after it. To live like a Yes Man. Say yes to things i didnt dare, didnt think, didnt know. But, with a teeny tiny restrain at appropriate times of course. And no, i'm not obsessed with the movie. Just that the message has obviously touched some wire in my brain and triggered.

But of course. I will lose the battle eventually, looking at the increasing greying hair on my parents and creases on their once youthful faces. I will give in one day, to take over the bills, and insurances and being a working adult that i somehow still cant picture myself.

The circle of life will always win. Call me immature, timid, impractical or recalcitrant. But i, will be stubborn to defy it with what rebellious angst of a youth i am for now.


So, on a last note,

With a toast of an elixir to life,

I wish everyone an exuberant and indomitable 2009 and years ahead. ;)